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I AINT NO FAMILY CIRCUS FAG.

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16th September 2010

1:41pm: My grandma passed away Tuesday morning, at home, in her sleep, just like she wanted.

More later I guess.

18th April 2008

10:00am: in which I have designed a rad album cover
You know how the band BOSTON had some wicked rad album covers back in the day, right? All with huge motherships beaming up the earth and shit? Well, I got inspired (read: intoxicated) last night and designed a rad cover for BOSTON's new album that won't ever exist because the lead singer offed himself.

Cut for borderline NSFWness!Collapse )

Help me think of a name for this album!
Current Mood: chipper

14th December 2007

9:16am: trippy
Do you have a song or movie you loved as a child, that you revisited later in life only to realize it was about something totally scandalous?

When I was a little kid living in the southeastern Indiana wilderness, my favorite pasttime was sitting in front of my mother's huge, monolithic stereo with my head swallowed by those giant cushy 70s headphones, listening to mom's record collection. She had some really great albums - Thriller (of course), She's So Unusual by Cyndi Lauper, Purple Rain - but my favorite was probably Colors of the Day by Judy Collins. It was a greatest hits collection that included her cover of Leonard Cohen's "Suzanne" (the song responsible for my middle name), a really uplifting version of "Amazing Grace" (which never fails to bring me to tears), and a variety of other folksy songs, including "Sunny Goodge Street."

A while ago, I started waxing nostalgic and jonesing for that album. After much searching, I acquired the CD and kept it in the vicinity of the stereo in the kitchen, so I could listen to it while doing dishes and whatnot. Yesterday, I came across the CD in a drawer and transferred it to my car. As I was driving to work, "Sunny Goodge Street" came on, and for the first time since I was 6 or 7, I really listened to the lyrics.

AND REALIZED THAT THE SONG IS ABOUT TAKING A LOT OF DRUGS AND HALLUCINATING

Isn't it crazy how you can learn the words to a song by heart as a kid but never really understand what they mean?Collapse )
Current Mood: cold

21st November 2007

3:24pm: psa
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I hope you all have way too much turkey and stuffing or turkey/stuffing equivalents, and really take the time to stop and reflect on your gratitude for all the things that matter most to you.

<3 XOXOXOX
Current Mood: thankful

11th October 2007

12:56pm: an observation
Unless you are a 40s movie star or an old lady, chances are that wearing a decorative scarf around your neck makes you look like a total asshole.
Current Mood: sore

1st October 2007

11:23am: weekend update
(or: the only reason to login to livejournal on a Monday)

I enjoyed this past weekend quite a bit. Friday, we had game night with Brian and Jess, prior to which we drove into Clifton to pick up some dinner. There were marching band kids practicing their drums on the sidewalk across from Jimmy John's, which was totally fucking awesome as I love a drumline. Anyway, Friday night was good. I nearly won a game of Settlers of Catan!

Saturday, I had to work in the morning (boo), but afterward we (me, Jason, sally, Voge) went to this interesting "street art" fair in Clifton, where they shut down one street and had a bunch of artists doing sidewalk chalk reproductions of famous works of art. It ruled! Here are some pictures:Collapse )

After that, we headed out to the Dinsmore Homestead for a fall festival, which was pretty rad. Katie had a booth and was selling her paintings, and there were all kinds of vendors and shit to check out. We hiked up to the little historical graveyard at the top of the hill behind the house, which was fascinating. It had a chest-high rock wall around it, which had both a gate and these odd little steps so you could go over the wall. We asked the (very busty) volunteer chick why that was, and evidently back in the day, it was considered bad luck to exit a graveyard the same way you entered it. NEAT!

Here's some pictures from the farm.Collapse )

Marco and Katie came over later that night for beer and Apples to Apples, and good times were had by all, except maybe Voge, who bought a 30 pack (THIRTY) of Natty Light and subsequently kept passing out.

Um what else. Sunday, Jason and sally and I went to the Waffle House in Covington for delicious waffles, then decided to set out on an ADVENTURE CRUISE in Kentucky. We wound up finding Rabbit Hash again, and just driving along the river bottoms and bullshitting and staring at the fall colors (FINALLY). Most excellent. Overall, this weekend gets a solid A.
Current Mood: tired

18th September 2007

2:48pm: question meme
It's adding up to be a boring day. So, meme! I stoled it from EMMUH.

One question.
One honest answer.
That's all you get.

You get to ask me one question.
Any one question.
Anything, no matter how crazy it is.

No catch, except you better repost this if you ask a question.

You can ask anonymously if you want.
Current Mood: curious

14th September 2007

9:11am: misc
Photo taken this morning of the empty storefront around the corner from my house:



In case you can't read that, it says: FOR RENT. CHURCH? SALON? And then the new grafitti underneath says METH LAB?

Oh, Northside.

And here's a picture of my ill-fated, stupid-expensive haircut which I do not like.Collapse )

In other news, here are things I require for this weekend:

1) A 6-pack of ice cold stout
2) A you-pick produce farm within a 1.5 hour radius that actually has blackberries and raspberries left to pick
3) Time to get shit done for the meetings next Monday and Wednesday

Word.
Current Mood: tired

20th August 2007

11:23am: stuff
I have moved into a new office at work! A big office, with a big U-shaped desk and tons of room and a lot more privacy! I no longer have a window, though. All in all, however, I think it was a pretty good upgrade.

I start learning about marker design this afternoon!

I had better get a raise with a quickness, or I'ma be pissed!

sally's brother is in town and we have been hanging out with him and having a grand old time. So far we have introduced him to Skyline chili (he neither loved nor hated it) and Jungle Jim's. Also, he has kicked our asses in several board games.

Things with the gallery are clipping along fucking swimmingly. So swimmingly, in fact, that Lish and sally and I have a meeting with one of the county commissioners this Thursday night to see what he can do to support the project. We will also be scheduling a meeting soon with a city council member, who has a particular interest in revitalizing the neighborhood where the gallery is. I am SO EXCITED and nervous and oh my god this thing is really happening!!!!! :O

Oh and plus, we're going to Birmingham for a long weekend, starting Friday. (We're actually driving down during the day on Friday - no after-work driving all night while exhausted for us this time. We'll be back Monday. Yay for mini-vacations!
Current Mood: chipper

17th August 2007

10:08am: Sophie's choice (of evening attire)
Last night, as sally and I were lounging and watching tv, I saw out of the corner of my eye that Gus was batting at something in the darkness on the dining room floor. Whatever it was looked plain WEIRD, so I got up and went to investigate. To my surprise, it wound up being Sophie, who was walking veeeerrrry slowly under the table. Her head was down and she looked mighty ashamed of herself. Then I realized that it looked like she had something stuck to the fur on her back legs. At first, it looked like a wad of masking tape or something, so I went to pick her up and remove it.

I approached her and said OH SOAP WHAT DID YOU DO, and she looked up at me and then lowered her head in shame once more. I scooped her up and lo and behold, what I thought was tape turned out to be part of a a heavy paper gift bag, the handle loop of which was stuck tight around her belly. In essence, Sophie had made herself a little skirt out of the bag and was moping around because she couldn't take it off. I like to imagine that she was all THIS OUTFIT MAKES ME LOOK FAT :'(

After laughing at her until she buried her head in my armpit in embarassment, I had to cut the bag off of her because there was no way it was coming off the way she put it on. She was so relieved that she stayed on my lap and drooled copiously for at least ten minutes. Dumbass cat.
Current Mood: amused

14th August 2007

3:04pm: stupid guy and the epic shitfit
Thanks to some departmental restructuring, my workdays have been mercifully devoid of the presence of Stupid Guy, as he has been working mainly in another building on the grounds. The days have been quiet and almost enjoyable. That is, until today.

This morning, I was busy processing sales contracts, hurrying to get them done in time for the commissions to go on this week's payroll. I came across a contract written by Stupid Guy for a custom laser-etched grave marker, which, fucking awesome, custom laser-etched markers are a pain in the balls. Well, long story short, Stupid Guy fucked up the contract and only charged the customer for the granite, etching, foundation and freight, but somehow managed to not charge for the name and birth/death date inscription.

Yeah, ok, this is a problem, but it actually wound up being correctable. Evidently the customer somehow paid the CORRECT price despite the contract reflecting the wrong number. All Stupid Guy needed to do to fix the contract was strike out the erroneous numbers, write in the correct ones and initial the changes. I delivered the document to Stupid Guy's desk and began to explain to him what he needed to do. What followed was utterly baffling.

A quarter of the way through my very SIMPLE explanation, Stupid Guy's jaw went slack and his eyes glazed over. He then began to frantically shuffle papers around on his desk while twitching spastically in his chair. After about ten minutes of explaining what he needed to do, having him go WHAT, HUH?, and and re-explaining, ad nauseam, I finally went OK I GIVE UP, WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

I DON'T KNOW I DON'T KNOW. BUHBUHBUHBUHBUHBUUHHHHHH BUH I DON'T KNOW, he replied, and fiddled with a stack of papers. I DON'T KNOW MAYBE I'M LOOKING FOR A CLUE* BUH BUH BUH

I just kind of stood there for a minute, then said, "Ok, uh, well if you can go ahead and finish having your shitfit, just fix the paperwork and bring it back over to me. I'll be at my desk, waiting patiently."



*Yes, he said this. No, I don't know what the fuck.
Current Mood: annoyed

13th August 2007

9:22am: weekend movie reviews
It was a weekend of seeing movies.

The Simpsons Movie: I liked it pretty much, it was just like a really long episode only there was nudity and Marge said a cuss. As usual, there were douchebags afoot at the Circle K in the theater, including READING GUY who would read aloud any words that appeared on the screen and then chuckle. He would also occasionally repeat a line immediately after it was said and go (INSERT LINE HERE)... HAW HAW HAW THAT WAS FUNNY! He did it frequently enough to be really irritating but not often enough to make me have to squash the urge to turn around and beat his face in. I rate this movie experience a solid B.

Also, Voge said to sally and myself on Friday that the movie was OKAY but there were only two funny parts, and now I'm trying like hell to figure out which two parts Voge would have found funny. He is an enigma wrapped in a mystery wrapped in a do-rag and doused in a shitload of cologne.

Knocked Up: Could have been funnier but was decent in the chuckles department. Seth Rogen and Paul Rudd are hilarious together, but what lamed up this movie for me was the totally unrealistic BLOSSOMING LOVE between the main characters. OMG OUR GENITALS INTERACTED WITH ONE ANOTHER AND NOW WE ARE HAVING A BABY! GUESS WE'D BETTER UP AND FALL IN LOVE EVEN THOUGH I AM PRETTY AND SUCCESSFUL AND SNOTTY AND YOU ARE CHUNKY AND UNEMPLOYED AND HAVE HAIR ON YOUR ASS.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang: OH MY GOD HOW DID I NOT HEAR ABOUT HOW AWESOME THIS MOVIE IS. I love Robert Downey, Jr. so much. SO MUCH. I don't care if he spent the past 20 years higher than a kite being flown on top of the Empire State building by some dude who is really tall. He rules and so does this movie. And so does Val Kilmer, who has somehow managed to have a really fat face while the rest of him remains smallish. Anyway this was a very enjoyable movie, A+, would watch again.

In other news, I need to get my hair did SO FUCKING BAD. We saw this makeover show on Saturday where they're supposed to pretty you up until you look ten years younger (younger than you look, not younger than you ARE) and this one chunky broad with multiple chins and bad teeth was MAGICALLY TRANSFORMED by this really adorable haircut that I now want. BALLS TO POVERTY.
Current Mood: okay

9th August 2007

10:08am: best spam subject line ever
I just received a spam email with the following subject:

Girl struck below Kenny G compound

These spammers are getting really good at coming up with nonsense that truly piques one's interest.
Current Mood: bored

8th August 2007

8:53am: misc
Well, I'm to start training soon on GRAVESTONE MAKIN'. The prospect would be a lot more exciting if this wasn't cutting into all the other work I'm wicked behind on. Oh well, changes are good, right?

Tonight is meeting #2 of the COMMITTEE OF INCORPORATORS* at the gallery, I'm so stoked. I've gathered most of the forms we need to file our articles of incorporation with the Secretary of State and the IRS. I've even gathered some names of people to approach about sitting on the Board of Directors and Executive Committee.

It is so fucking hot this week. ONE HUNDRED DEGREES ARE YOU SHITTING ME????? Well, I have learned a very valuable lesson: I will never again buy a house without central air. Never, ever again in my whole life.

*If I forgot to mention this, SALLY IS NOW ON BOARD with this project! She will be handling financial matters and helping us build a budget. HOORAY
Current Mood: excited

6th August 2007

11:54am: whee haw
I had my meeting with my boss on Friday - I AM getting a promotion (of sorts) and I AM getting a raise (but I don't yet know how much). Within the next few months, I will start training to handle all of the granite/marker and monument orders for the cemetery. This is in addition to ALL the other things I already do, which oof. But, I will get to DESIGN GRAVESTONES, how fucking cool is that? I've also been drafted to sit on a committee that is going to create all-new marketing materials for the sales department to use. Why? Because a while back, I wrote a few form letters that were so kickass that my boss and the president were all like OMFG THIS IS GREAT, SHE NEEDS TO WRITE ALL OUR MATERIALS.

Well, not ALL, but you get the idea.

We had a good weekend, chilled out with the V-Unit Friday night and hung out with Marco on Saturday. I managed to give the upstairs bathroom a full-scrubdown Saturday morning, and now I can't stop obsessing about how badly I want to remodel. Sunday, sally and I went out for a late lunch, strolled around some furniture stores, and ended up at my mom's house for dinner. (Thanksgiving-style turkey with all the fixins, with bonus king crab legs!)

Now I'm gearing up for our next meeting at the gallery, which is this Wednesday. We have so much to cover. I made an AGENDA and everything, aren't I efficient?
Current Mood: excited

2nd August 2007

1:49pm: AWESOME STUFF: addendum
Two things I forgot to mention earlier:

4) JASON RULES. He made me French onion soup last night! I had some more for lunch (there was a vat of it) and I ate so much I think hurt myself (with soup).

5) I HAVE A PAINTING! Lish gave me one of her original pieces last night as a sort of thank-you for my involvement with the gallery. It's called "Orange Crush." See below!



It reminds me of orchids for some reason. I will try to get a picture of it in the dark at some point to show how it glows.

:D
Current Mood: happy
9:11am: AWESOME STUFF FUCK YEAH
Awesome stuff:

1) MY DAD IS MOVING! He called one of the apartment complexes I found for him on Tuesday and they have a unit available September 1, so he gave his notice to his current complex and he is getting the F out of dodge. (Moving Labor Day weekend, OOOOOOF.) It will be perfect because the new place is just over a mile away from my house. No more driving way the fuck out to Miamitown!

We will need boxes. Boxes and volunteers and trucks/vans. This whole thing has to go down on a shoestring budget. Any parties interested in performing backbreaking labor over a holiday weekend, please apply within.

2) I HAVE A PROJECT! A big project. See, my friend Alicia (aka Lish) is an artist - she does these huge, textural, abstract paintings, and she mixes phosphorescent chemicals into the paint so that they glow in the dark. I know that sounds kind of tacky but you'd have to see it to appreciate it. Anyway, Lish was recently given control of this small underground art gallery on Warsaw in the Price Hill Incline District. She currently has her work hanging in there, but she wants to start booking shows for local artists (Katie's being scheduled for a show in the spring) and getting the place off the ground. And she wants ME involved with all of it.

We met at the gallery last night, with a bunch of vodka and tonic, and kicked off our shoes and brainstormed and came up with some really great ideas. We need to finalize the mission statement, but basically we want the gallery to be a venue for up-and-coming artists who need to get a professional show under their belt. We also want to make the space into a mini-community center, offering art classes, yoga classes, you name it. We're going to have a private fundraiser in October to try to drum up interest with some local art philanthropists, and the proceeds will go to applying for 501(c)3 nonprofit status and getting some financial and legal counsel. It's going to be a lot of work but I know we can pull this off.

3) I'M MOVIN' ON UP! Word on the street is, I might be getting a promotion at work. I will learn more about this tomorrow morning.

I feel better right now than I have in a long time.
Current Mood: excited

31st July 2007

2:56pm: are you fucking serious
Anybody know of a quiet, pet-friendly, smoker-friendly apartment available for rent in the central Cincinnati area?

I have got to get my dad out of his apartment. Apparently his complex management found out he was harboring a FUGITIVE CAT when they were replacing the carpet after the sewage flood. They gave him an ultimatum: either he pays a seventy dollar deposit and SEVENTY DOLLARS A MONTH, provides them with an up-to-date vaccination record (sup, expensive vet visit) and takes out a $200+ a year renter's insurance policy that covers damages OF BEING BITTEN BY A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD CAT, or he gets rid of Eleanor. Of course, dad's on a fixed income and can't possibly afford such expenses, so he's being forced to pack Smellinor up and ship her off to another home TODAY. And I can't afford to pay all of that for him, plus I don't have the time to take the cat to the vet.

Luckily, I called my mom and she said fuck that noise, she'd take the cat back for the time being. I am SO FUCKING MAD though. I'm finding my dad a new apartment and that's FINAL. He has lived in that complex for ten years, has always paid his rent on time and has not caused any trouble. Then his apartment gets ruined by A FLOOD OF HUMAN WASTE, he is forced to live elsewhere for a MONTH, and the complex management repays him by not only refusing to prorate his rent or otherwise compensate him for the time he was forced out of his home, but by making him get rid of his BEST FRIEND? BULLSHIT. I'm finding him a new apartment and writing a very nasty letter to the complex managment and sending copies to as many local newspapers as I can.
Current Mood: pissed off
9:19am: omg harry potter
Harry Potter meme, contains spoilersCollapse )
Current Mood: bored

30th July 2007

2:39pm: weekend in review blah bloo
Good weekend: sally and I finally went and saw Order of the Phoenix, which was SUPER GREAT and was made even better by the fact that a group of RETARDS (of the literal variety) filed into the seats behind us just prior to the previews. They were so amusing, the one kept intermittently hollering this hoodoo mumbo jumbo that sounded kind of like someone talking in their sleep, and another was making constant little piggy OINKs in the back of his throat. sally and I had to really work hard at not laughing out loud. They were quite endearing - the worst part of them sitting behind us was their... chaperone, I guess?... who we referred to as CRINKLE BAG because she'd evidently brought her own bag of chips which she fucked with nonstop throughout the entirety of the movie. She also had jangly bracelets on, which clattered every time she reached for a chip (approx. once every second and a half).

Anyway, the movie ruled, I think it is my favorite HP movie adaptation yet. OMFG WEASLEY TWINS.

After the movie, we all went to Katie and Marco's house for dinner. We had gourmetten, which is this Dutch "party meal" thing that is sort of like fondue only you use a griddle instead of pots of oil. Marco made up a fantastic array of bite-sized bits of chicken, pork, beef, wee meatballs (plain or wrapped in bacon) and chunks of fancy cheddar wrapped in bacon, and we picked what we wanted and cooked it ourselves right there at the table. It was SO much fun!

Sunday was a lazy day, and it was exactly what I needed, I think. It was a day of watching tv and drinking wine and reading and napping, which was just fantastic. I want a day like that every other day plz.

There is some stuff in the works this week, but I'll have more to say about that later. All very exciting developments!
Current Mood: hopeful

25th July 2007

4:22pm: 'ello, wot's this?
Is... is that a project I see on the horizon?

You know? I think it is.

This could be really good.

More later.
Current Mood: creative

24th July 2007

10:17am: oh and while I'm bitching
My dad called last night to bitch about how his apartment complex found out about his cat (Smellinor) and they now want to charge him a pet deposit and monthly fee. Somehow during the course of this conversation, he mentioned that my sister-in-law, Amber, is coming over on Wednesday to do his grocery shopping for him. Which, thank you jesus, this means I don't have to do it this week. However, my dad took this as his opportunity to ONCE AGAIN tell me that my shitty grandma can't shut up about how BEAUTIFUL Amber is, and she's SO PROUD of John and Amber and their baby, and blah blah etc.

MUST BE NICE TO HAVE GRANDMA'S APPROVAL, I couldn't help but say, and dad goes WELL I PERSONALLY THINK AMBER IS TOO FAT TO BE AS PRETTY AS GRANDMA SAYS.

Ooooooookay.

I pointed out that Amber isn't really fat, and I'm twice the size of her anyway. WELL YOU HAVE AN INNER RADIANCE, he says, and oh jesus christ let me just shove my head in an industrial oven right fucking now. SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT, I said, AMBER'S NOT PRETTY BECAUSE SHE'S CHUBBY, AND I'M CHUBBIER THAN HER SO ALL I HAVE GOING FOR ME IS INNER FUCKING RADIANCE?

Well, says my dear father, it's not like it's your fault. You're fat because you have a hormone problem, right?

...

Yeah, dad, that's the running theory among my dipshit doctors. I guess I should be comforted by the fact that I'm unattractive and unloved by my family members BUT NOT JUST BECAUSE I REALLY LIKE CAKE.
Current Mood: READY FOR THE SUICIDE
9:35am: buh fuh duh
Dreams last night involved Disapparating, an evil law firm, running from something, and listening to my cousin Sandy's daughter talk about how she had to wash her dead mother's hair.

Buh.

I am a little over halfway through Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I am not a very fast reader evidently. Must be due to all the RETARDED.

What else? Oh yeah, I'm now in the midst of a 2-day run of being TOO AWKWARD TO LIVE. Someone greets me, I open my mouth to respond, and something ignorant tumbles out. I try to compliment someone and it comes out wrong, only to be misinterpreted. I try to pass someone in the hall and only manage to get in their way. I accidentally answer people who aren't talking to ME, I laugh loudly at the wrong moment, generally fuck up everything I put my hand to and then overcompensate to the point of looking exponentially more ridiculous. This is going to be a RAD week.
Current Mood: cranky

23rd July 2007

11:23am: weekend review
just some stuffCollapse )
Current Mood: calm

19th July 2007

9:59am: cuuuute
We went to Honey last night for sally's birthday and had a really fantastic dinner. To me, the real highlight was the appetizers (we got two because we couldn't decide on just one). One was a savory cheesecake with an almondy crust, and the other was a peach with goat cheese where the pit once was, wrapped in prosciutto and baked. I loved both but the peach was extra special.

Also, because it was the cutest thing ever, here is a picture of the spun-sugar bee that was perched atop the rhubarb and blackberry tarte sally and I shared for dessert.



I hope my punkin enjoyed her birthday!

In other news, I finished reading Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth this morning and it so totally creeped me out. The edition we got included the original "script" by Grant Morrison, with additional commentary, which was even more interesting and horrific. THE JOKER WAS ORIGINALLY SUPPOSED TO GREET BATMAN AT THE ASYLUM DOOR DRESSED LIKE MADONNA IN A BUSTIER AND SEAMED STOCKINGS FOR CHRIST'S SAKE.
Current Mood: foodlin'
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